You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
