I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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