Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
