Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
