with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize