Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
