Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
