i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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