I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
