I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
