They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Randomize
