my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
there was a trapeze. enough said
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Randomize
