Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize