So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
