I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
