theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I just forgot I was standing up.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
