I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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