if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Rumble strips road head = magical
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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