Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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