Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
