there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
