she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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