Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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