when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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