I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
