She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
