Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
