My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
