If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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