All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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