Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
