He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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