i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize