i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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