Non-Jews are for practice
Please, let me fuck your mom
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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