jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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