I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
