4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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