once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize