The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize