Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
