Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
