Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Dick very happy bro
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
