its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
