If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
