My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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