She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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