Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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