I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
