what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
