I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
