also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize