just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
