I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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