hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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