he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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