I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
