You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
