no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
