Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
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