Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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