normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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