i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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