im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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