Someone shit on the floor
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
