So drunk, too bad you don't want this
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
