my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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