I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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