we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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