This is not my ceiling
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
