He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You are the jesus of drinking
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
