oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
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