You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
