I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
