6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I have post one night stand depression
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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