Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
