The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
