ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
