i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
