Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Randomize
