It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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