I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
