Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
