what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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